The most evil thing you can do is separate a mother from her baby, whether through coercion or brutal force. And that’s what adoption is….
So, there’s this hipster movie, “Juno”… maybe you saw it? Adoption is all rosy and pristine in “Juno” with a young mother who’s “just not ready” and “making the ‘right’ decision” for her baby. What the fetus-centric message of the movie unintentionally tells us is that impoverished, often young mothers are fair fodder for older, barren women – women with the money and social standing to purchase a newborn. Whether attached to a man or not, these barren bitches represent the patriarchy at it’s most insidious and subtle incarnation – women betraying women. As Taylor Swift succinctly said, “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” And this is the real issue at the center of a forced adoption, a kidnapping right now in Birmingham, Alabama.
Forced adoptions/legal kidnapping is certainly one issue that we can’t blame solely on men when it’s commonly an infertile woman obsessively longing for a baby. The birth mother’s mental health is rudely questioned whereas the wanna-be “mother” gets a pass for obsessively coveting babies. It is particularly obvious in Baby Elliot’s case, as we have a rich, single woman hiring a rich female lawyer to bully a poor, scared woman. There are many other similar cases, e.g. the Magdeline Sisters of Ireland. These women are actively supporting the patriarchy and the existing sexist establishments, which is the truest definition of the phrase “female chauvinist pig.”
Why did Kimberly Rossler contact Adoption Rocks? She didn’t know that she could refute her ex, as he had her believing that she had to surrender her child. Kimberly, like most people, didn’t know the law. The adoption agency knowingly obfuscated the facts and law. She believed her ex had a claim on her body and her baby before it was even born, when it was still a zygote. Many girls and women are purposefully deceived; they’re not only kept ignorant of the law, but they are manipulated and outright lied to by attorneys, the courts, and adoption agencies. Woman have been fooled into believing that within the first two trimesters before birth, a “father” can sign off on his nonexistent rights and give the baby away. And this is the most evil component of southern patriarchal culture – girls and women actually still believe that they are beholden to men, that they belong to men. In this case, like plenty others, Kimberly’s ex didn’t want to pay child support. This is why he bullied for the adoption. He was afraid that she would name him on the birth certificate. He wanted her to abort initially, and made threats against her if she didn’t abort.
When three sheriffs took Elliot from Kimberly’s breast, they offered her no cause, no reason. There was never any question of Kimberly’s motherhood by any childcare authorities. It’s important to note that Judge Brown said “he never would have signed such an order had he known it was an adoption. It was outside his jurisdiction.” The fact that the adoption attorney, Donna Ames, was a campaign donor for this judge is part of a systematic problem in this country – that most judges in this country are elected, not appointed. It makes judges politicians, not impartial or logical as a judge should be. If he realized after the fact that he should not have signed the order, can he not rescind it? Does that not automatically invalidate the order?
The most horrific fact – Kate Sharp, the wanna-be mother, hunted Kimberly and Elliot down via Kimberly’s abusive ex boyfriend. Judge Brown received false allegations from Donna Ames regarding Kimberly’s mental state. However, Kimberly was seeing a therapist because of her abusive ex, Donna, and Kate. She sought help to deal with the harassment and bullying from her ex, Donna, and especially Kate. Donna’s defamation of character against Kimberly will potentially backfire, as a licensed mental healthcare professional can already vouch for Kimberly’s sanity and character. Hopefully, the slander from Kate and the ex will land both of them, as well as Donna, accountable in a court of law for lying. Donna Ames lied to a Judge. Isn’t prison time usually awarded for that?
Stealing is taking something that is not yours. Regardless of legal loopholes and the hoodwinked judge, Donna Ames and Kate Sharp have stolen a baby. Donna Ames and Kate Sharp knew the entire pregnancy that Elliot was a very much wanted and very loved by his mommy. The agency, Adoption Rocks, and these women knowingly manipulated Kimberly, keeping her ignorant of the law, even blatantly feeding her wrong information. Luckily, Kimberly had the support of a good therapist who helped her gain the courage and confidence to say no to Donna and Kate. And this is not the first wrongful adoption for Donna Ames, who deserves to be disbarred along with her political cronies, including every judge involved in this case and the other attorneys of Adoption Rocks.
Kate Sharp is learning that you can’t buy babies. Adoption Rocks is the type of fraudulent adoption agency that has wanna-be parents sending money and “gifts” to mothers. The mothers are indebted and guilted into finalizing wrongful adoptions even after they have changed their minds. Kate, when confronted by Kimberly’s counselor, revealed that she believes she bought herself another woman’s baby. In most states such “gifts” are illegal and absolutely no papers are signed until well after birth. Donna Ames, as an adoption attorney, knows fully well how controversial and unethical “pre-birth agreements” are. Such “agreements” and pre-birth paperwork is illegal in many states. Another really creepy fact: Kate went with Kimberly to all her doctor’s appointments, confusing and humiliating Kimberly further.
The fact the ex boyfriend, who has no rights over anything on or in a woman’s body, said he would sign “rights” over, makes this case null and void. The father has to be on the birth certificate, and sign the birth certificate, before he even has the beginnings of any rights as a parent. The sperm donor was largely out of the picture at this point – they certainly were not together due to the abuse committed against Kimberly and her unborn. Remember, the reason Kimberly contacted Adoption Rocks is because she was threatened by her ex. He wanted her to have an abortion, and threatened her fetus. The only interest ever shown for Kimberly’s baby by the ex was to unscrupulously obtain her address for Kate Sharp. And we all know Kate Sharp kidnapped Elliot by finding loopholes in the legal system, and slandering Elliot’s only and true mother.
Western patriarchal societies are not better than Eastern patriarchal societies. They’re just more subtle. It’s critical to note that the religious conservatives of Alabama have been plastering their support of this single woman trying to adopt this very wanted child – making them also, ironically, very hypocritical – just because Kate Sharp, the baby kidnapper – is wealthy. Kimberly Rossler is of a much lower socioeconomic class and single. How much conservatives will bend their beliefs to ruin a woman they don’t personally know is sad, but not shocking. Right-wingers are going to demonize and crucify whomever is an easy target. And a single, scared, new mother is pathetically easy prey. Welcome to the South. Welcome to Alabama.
Adoption equals poor women breeding for the wealthy. “What’s best for the baby” is the ugly fallacy that lawyers, judges, adoptive parents, conservatives, bigots and idiots, and social workers pimp out. There’s nothing “best” about taking babies away from their mothers, especially when income level is used as the sole reason. And, yes, I have seen children taken away from their mothers just because mommy is poor. The fact that this diabolical excuse is used to justify stealing and selling of babies is not only a mar on history, but a very real nightmare that happens in 21st century America. One online comment I read in response to this very fallacy – that a rich woman should be able to take a poor woman’s baby – points out that if this is the case, there’s nothing to stop poor families from being targeted by social workers and the corrupt legal system as a means to grant wealthy, barren citizens children.
Academic papers, media reports, statistics, and life show that the existing class structure, particularly poverty, is misogynistic. It doesn’t matter if it’s a 25 year old or a 33 year old woman. These agencies are set up to guilt and shame any who seeks help. Hence, the early “pre-birth” contracts in the first trimester before a women even feels her baby kick. They feed on women who do not want to abort because of personal reasons. These women are heavily pressured by cultural shaming and influenced by local religiosity. The mother is primed to be a baby machine (aka incubator) for any infertile woman or couple, usually of “traditional” judeo-christian standards. These girls and women are manipulated by wanna-be parents “paying their way” through pregnancy, which is a practice that’s illegal in many states. What this means: the adoption agencies and the wanna-be parents pay, actually send money to the pregnant woman. Because of paid living expenses, expecting mothers are guilted and manipulated (by attorneys and agencies) into believing that they owe their uterus and its produce to the highest bidder – their “sponsor.” They are made to feel indebted. This is what “open adoption” is in America. It is a systematic mind-fuckery of scared women in precarious positions who love their babies and want the best for them. And as research literature tells us, adoptive children have a plethora of serious issues, such as reactive attachment disorder (RAD). The mother-infant bond isn’t optional, it’s integral.
Instead of supplying services, parental incentives, extensive OB/GYN care, and maternal leave like France, or Finland, or Germany, the United States of America makes a profit off of human flesh. White babies especially go to the highest bidder. And that highest bidder is extremely wealthy, be they single or coupled. Adoption is a 14 billion dollar industry in America. White babies are a rare commodity in today’s economy, so agencies and charities prey on low income women. If wanna-be wealthy people truly love children, they would adopt from orphanages where the mother is actually deceased. These people could save infant girls from female genital mutilation in Africa. Yet these rich, white Americans don’t truly love children. They want a white baby that they may potentially be able to pass off as theirs. But we all know, every time that they look into the face of that growing child, they will see the mother they cruelly destroyed.
Kimberly and Elliot’s story is just one out of countless other forced, wrongful adoption scandals that haunt human history. The Catholic Church remains the largest and most infamous of these criminal organizations. The purchasing of babies is a very profitable business. There’s absolutely nothing non-profit about adoption, although adoption attorneys and agencies, anti-choicers, and religious fundamentalists will swear otherwise. This is why abortion before adoption each and every time. Adoption – all methods – make fetuses hot commodities incubated by women and sold to the highest bidder. These agencies and “charities” look for the most “appropriate” parent(s) for a woman’s fetus before it’s even a newborn. Shaming tactics and self-righteous legal and religious dogma are primary weapons used against mothers and their babies.
My husband and I had the misfortune of growing up Catholic. This kind of shit was whispered about and feared. Wrongful/forced adoption happened to my god sister’s mother and my cousin. My husband’s parents “fostered” young, pregnant teens for Catholic Charities. They were actively part of a system, an organization, that has stolen babies from mothers for centuries. Religious maternity homes, whether actual group homes or individual “foster” homes, are one of the most covered up crime rings. Such homes, and/or the “fostering” of young mothers, is a global epidemic. The most harmed victim is the mother and her stolen baby. But this form of kidnapping has psychological repercussions among all witnesses and throughout society. Adoption shows us just how little a woman’s life is worth. We’re potential hosts, and our hypothetical fetuses potential babies for the highest bidder. There is no worse fear than having your child taken from you.
How did this culture of forced adoption affect us? I never wanted children, would not allow myself to want children, because I saw forced adoptions/newborn trafficking and the aftermath. No story ends well for the mommy or the baby. It is a very real threat to every Catholic girl raised in a strict, traditional, Catholic family. I never cared for physical affection. Just the thought of sex was threatening, and I certainly didn’t go there until my first marriage. Because of my fears and health issues, as soon as I was of legal age, I went on ortho cyclen. I married too young to escape an unhealthy home only to find myself in an even unhealthier place. My husband never wanted children either. He’s never spoken with his parents about what they did. It’s something he doesn’t talk about. Haunted by the “fostering” of young mothers and their misery, he briefly considered a vasectomy. I’m glad he didn’t. Safely in our thirties, we’re family planning. We have very little to do with extended family. It’s a mutual situation on all fronts. As atheists and progressives, our kid(s) will not be exposed to our old families or Catholicism.
We live in Birmingham, Alabama – the city currently at the center of Elliot’s kidnapping. Kate Sharp lives here. She’s supposedly a bigwig in commercial real estate. Apparently, this is her home town. And as I type this I think about Kimberly’s kidnapped baby just across town. Kate Sharp is the worst type of woman, a pants-suited power whore, who steps on other women for gain. She doesn’t deserve to be anyone’s mother, as she sees babies as commodities, trinkets to be bought. Kate doesn’t want a baby, she wants a toy. This woman spent her life choosing to solely focus on career driven goals. She needs to make peace with her life choices and stop tormenting an innocent mother and baby. Elliot has Kimberly’s eyes. Every time Kate Sharp looks at Kimberly’s baby, she will see Kimberly. She remembers how she had that baby ripped from his mother’s nipple. Exactly how much of a monster is Kate? She won’t even allow Elliot to have Kimberly’s pumped breast milk.
The original Huffington Post story by Mirah Riben: