The Economy and Sexism of “Parental Leave”

maternity leaveCenturies – motherfucking eons – of discrimination and much worse done to women, and now that maternity leave is on the verge of becoming a federally protected and corporate funded family value, society puts men right in the center once again. Yeah. Because men have been soooooo disenfranchised throughout history. It’s a fucking sad fact that maternity leave finally gets the attention and consideration that’s been a long time coming here in the States when advocates start to worry about “gender discrimination.” That’s right. When men come into the equation, it becomes “family leave” and suddenly society is more worried about “dad” getting to bond with mommy’s new baby instead of her healing from a life-altering, and potentially life threatening event:  pregnancy and childbirth. Not to mention her bonding time with her newborn, especially in the neonatal period where breast feeding is integral. Do men give birth? Does their anus rip open after a bowling ball passes out? NO.

Our biology, everything that girls and women endure throughout life, especially during pregnancy and childbirth, and the only reason “parental leave” is currently taken seriously in America is because it not only includes, but now centers, on men. Dude’s role is certainly not paramount to that of the mother’s; it’s not even tantamount. Babies need their mother. An infant’s cries lets the mother’s milk down, which is one reason babies do cry for their mothers. Also, they’re familiar with her voice and heartbeat after spending nine months growing inside of her. The mother/infant bond is essential to healthy development physically and especially mentally, as RAD and such psychological disorders develop when the mother/infant bond is disrupted. This focus on men in regards to maternity leave is a tell-tale sign that women are still second class citizens, namely the working class woman. If we ignore the fact that mothers are paramount, then we set women up to always be martyrs. This really does mean that we exist to be incubators and workhorses, men getting to take credit for everything we do, have always done.

Socialism protects women and children. Governmental family leave must be tailored around women. With extensive social programs for pregnant women and new mothers, both mother and child are protected and not dependent on an abusive partner, family, or private charities with an unscrupulous agenda. One of the reasons I put off having a baby is the current day care system, which is a necessarily evil due to the economy and inflation. In undergrad, I took a child policy class and the statistics of sexual abuse of infants in daycare is staggering. The thought of some stranger, no matter how “certified,” raising my baby, terrified me. And there was always that too-eager, officious mother-in-law making it well known she’d take care of MY hypothetical baby as though it was her own. Creepy bitches. Most men, whether economy or some emotional hang-up, don’t want their wives to exclusively focus on children. It’s a shame these men are fathers.

mothers' memeWhether nurture or nature, men tend to have stronger personalities than women. If we follow Sweden and grant 420 days between parents to be “shared,” we’re granting couch potatoes everywhere a paid vacation of channel surfing. A lifetime of hearing horror stories of men left to watch infants and toddlers because mommy had to got work to feed everybody, enrages me every time I hear the term “parental leave.” We all know it’s some insidious, patriarchal mental fuckery still thriving in the underbelly of American society when maternity leave becomes all about dudes. The fucking reality:  there are an astronomical amount of abusive men in the world. 90% of psychopaths are men. Men commit the most violent crimes. Their surplus of testosterone is the nature part of this predisposition to violence. (To the ladies out there – next time a dude calls you “hormonal” remind him of this.) And there’s no doubt that many of these men will have mommy working while they play “house husband?” It’s sexist that we wait till men can take advantage of a women’s maternity leave to make “family leave” a legitimate thing.

Should men have their own parental leave? Of fucking course. But it should not be interrupt or be stipulated on women’s leave. Let them have their own independent time, especially if they’re the bread-winner. The protestant work ethic and “hard work equals success” fallacy has ruined the American workforce. Everyone deserves and needs more vacation/personal time as well as their own family leave. And it’s got to be federally backed and protected, not just offered by progressive companies such as Netflix. I’m in Alabama. According to a Pakistani friend, Alabama’s not much different in regards to women’s rights than Pakistan. To any progressive man who’s a decent human being:  don’t get your panties in a wad because I’m taking a strong stand against the douche bags out there. Remember the context of this blog and the motherfuckers I’m calling out. This isn’t about the good guys; it’s about the bad. And, unfortunately, they’re the majority. Why do some guys want to lay about and pretend they’ve given birth? Seriously, they wanna pretend like they have a ripped anus? It’s not like there’s any place else for a fetus to pop out. Why be jealous of that? Why be jealous of motherhood? Why not just be a good father? And why not truly love the woman who loved you so much that she had a child with you?

meme2Family leave shouldn’t be a competition between parents. When paid leave is divided up between the mother and father, the mother will lose precious recovery time and the essential mother/infant bonding needed for both the mother’s and her baby’s physical and mental heath. It can take months to heal from pregnancy and birth. Forcing parents to “share” time allows the mother to be coerced into giving up her rightful place and time with her infant. The father’s leave should be separate and his own, not cut into the mother’s time. Allotting a year between two parents means a mother will be forced to be a workhorse while a bad father plays at her role, or does the couch potato/gamer gig. When paid leave is divided up between parents, women get cheated out of our inherent rights again. We do all the work and the guys reap the benefits. We endure pregnancy and birth only to have our motherhood devalued by proposed “family leave” policies, which ignores and devalues our bodies as well as motherhood.