The Trauma of Adoption

“If war is man’s inhumanity to man, then adoption is woman’s inhumanity to woman.” ~Celeste Billhartz
Everybody wants a puppy. Everybody wants a kitten. Everybody wants a newborn. And this superficial sentiment is exactly why newborn adoption, specifically, should be illegal. Just because you want something doesn’t mean you deserve it, or you’re owed it. To adopters and would-be adopters:  No poor, single, or young mother owes you a baby because you’re infertile, wealthy, and/or desire a baby.

Adoptive “parents” tend to grow tired of their bought commodity; and, when bought baby acts out, s/he is exhibiting “bad seed” behavior. Often the adoptive “mother” exhibits hostile parenting to the child she purchased. As I’ve stated on other posts, maybe nature knows that such women, women who creepily covet the newborns of others, are just not cut out for motherhood. A research journal abstract/source I received from an adoptee and fellow anti-adoption activist:

“Parenting beliefs and attributions can influence parenting behavior. We used an adoption design to examine the associations among perinatal risk and poor birth mother health, adoptive parent appraisals of birth mothers’ mental health, and genetic attributions to adoptive parents’ feelings and behaviors toward their adopted infants. A sample of 361 pairs of adoptive parents and birth mothers were interviewed using standardized measures when infants were between 4 and 9 months old. Adoptive mothers and fathers were observed during play tasks when their infants were 9 months old. We found that adoptive mothers’ and fathers’ appraisals of birth mothers’ health were associated with perinatal risk and poor birth mother health. Adoptive mothers’ appraisals were linked to hostile parenting, after accounting for characteristics of the child that may influence her appraisals and attributions. These associations were not present for adoptive fathers. Genetic attributions were associated with both adoptive mother and fathers’ feelings of daily hassles in parenting. These findings have implications for prevention and intervention.

J Appl Dev Psychol. 2015 Nov-Dec; 41:19-27. The Relationship between Genetic Attributions, Appraisals of Birth Mothers’ Health, and the Parenting of Adoptive Mothers and Fathers. Stover CS1, Zhou Y2, Leve LD3, Neiderhiser JM4, Shaw DS5, Reiss D6.  Author information Abstract

FB_IMG_1450264618411The above research helps to explain the statistic that adoptees are six times more likely to be abused than biologically children. Often, adopters go on to have biological children despite the initial claim or diagnosis of infertility. And, as expected, adopters often divorce, leaving an adoptee in a single parent home – the very situation they judged the mother of the adoptee for. The hypocrisy doesn’t end here.

“The Primal Wound” a term coined by Nancy Verrier, psychotherapist and lecturer, speaks to the medical research that further explains the lifetime of negative physiological consequences adoption has on mothers and children. Often, adopted/sold babies exhibit signs of colic with no actual sickness. The pitch cry babies make is for their mother; it’s the same cry they make in utero. Baby’s biorhythms are in sync with mommy’s, which is why agencies, attorneys, social workers, and wanna-be parents eagerly snatch a mother’s baby immediately after birth. They hope to break a bond that by nature, by science, cannot be broken. With the insidious practice of changing parental names on birth certificates and closed adoption records in forty states, an adoptee’s family, medical history, and past is all but destroyed for the sake of the adopters’ feelings. In their greed for a child, specifically a newborn, they destroy a very real and natural family. The very acquired commodity they claim to love – the child of the woman they destroyed – is irrevocably damaged. Adoptees are 4% more likely to commit suicide.

“Nature abhors a vacuum; God abhors deception and dishonesty.” (Priscilla Stone Sharp) Science is on our side easily. But what about the “god fallacy?” The religious often excuse the crime of adoption with the irrational “a gift from god” claim. This fallacious emotional appeal and/or appeal to ignorance is often cited by agencies and adopters. In reality, they do know the truth. They know no benevolent god looks down and smiles on the sell and purchase of babies.

FB_IMG_1444662560094Adoption is not only trauma, it is the legalized, systematic abuse of women and children. Adoption reduces women to incubators, and babies to commodities for sale to the highest bidder. Baby-sellers and baby-buyers alike do not care about the damage they physically and psychologically inflict on mothers, children, and families. They only care about their sells and their purchase(s). Currently, adoption is the most ignored violation of human rights, namely because – in the United States alone – adoption is a 15 billion dollar industry.


Priscilla Stone Sharp ~ Search Angel

Celeste Billhartz

The Primal Wound