Literary Devices & Free Speech: use ’em or lose ’em

“Name-calling” is a literary device and you should be using it in writing as well as speech. Why? Because use it or lose it. The fringe of every persuasion challenges free speech as a blow to the right of protest, which is an inherit American birthright thanks to the First Amendment. The right of protest is the highest level of speech protected under the Constitution of the United States of America. If you didn’t get this beside the Pledge of Allegiance in grade school, the educational system failed you miserably.

The right to protest is constantly under attack by some fringe group. However, today we see fringe groups ominously charging their way through political parties and legal theory to occupy the center of attention. And you can bet yours truly here has done come up with a term for this convoluted bullshit for your vernacular:  the attention whore phenomenon.

There’s a new kind of “ambulance chasers” and these effeminate fucktards are embedded in Civil Law where obfuscating plain speech with semantics is legalese. (The field of law is very effeminate because passive aggression is its lifeblood. This explains why male attorneys tend to manipulate and act theatrically like women.)  These creatures called attorneys go to law school to learn rhetoric, logical fallacies, and how to create and manipulate fickle, temporal man-made law(s). How do I know this? I almost attended law school until I realized the vast majority of the field consists of highly functioning sociopaths. They don’t study law to help people or Mother Earth. They go for power, greed, money, recognition, and what the Germans call schadenfreude.

I chose the field of teaching instead. I didn’t want to lose the spark that some call soul, that point of light where “the falling angel meets the raising ape.” (Terry Pratchett)

The majority of SLAPP lawsuits – strategic lawsuit against public participation – are falsely branded as “defamation of character.” Currently, twenty-nine states have anti-SLAPP statues. The states that don’t have anti-SLAPP laws are where present bogus lawsuits are filed to shutdown civil protest, public and personal conviction, and free speech. The issues that oligarchical entities attack using their lawyer lapdogs range from environmental and human rights to protesting domestic power whore brigands that inflict their desires and greed on the marginalized and powerless. If you’re particularly dense, tend to play dumb as a semantic device, or just want a good laugh:

SLAPP Suits: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

Why do people who do shitty things – those who commit human rights violations and/or use their privilege and wealth to manipulate the legal system – want to silence their critics? Because calling a spade exactly a spade is how you call them out on their wrong-doing. It’s using satire and synecdoche, simile and antonomasia, to defuse and deflate the hegemony of wealth and privilege. The world needs more of Mark Twain armed with literary devices to peacefully and verbally slay the likes of Anti-fa or ISIS/ISOL – those who are armed with baseball bats, bombs, and guns. A wise friend many moons ago said to me, “Amber, in order to conquer demons you have to name them.” Call them what they are. And you’ll find their names in their actions. If you don’t want to be called out for evil, don’t do evil. 

Now, let’s end with a funny story that’ll leave ya thinking if you’re the thinking type:

Once upon a time in Amber’s neighborhood, which is located somewhere below the Mason-Dixon Line in a place where cornbread isn’t sweet but ice tea is… Mrs. F likes to sit on her screen porch and drink Icehouse beer and/or Crown Royal. She eats pigskins too. Both her beverages of choice are particularly nasty to the craft beer snob, but Mrs. F is a retired grandma and gives zero fucks about that hipster shit. 

One day a wanna-be high-class broad cut Mrs. F off while she was entering the neighborhood. Mrs. F rolled down her window and called this other grandma a “Fuck-face.” The other grandma was deeply offended and flipped Mrs. F a bird. Mrs. F called her a Fuck-face again. “That’s right! You’re a fucking Fuck-face!” 

Grandma fights are epic.

The penchant for wit is easily inherited. Mrs. F’s grandson was repeatedly physically bullied at school. Instead of hitting the bully kid back, Mrs. F’s grandson cried out, “Leave me alone, you mother-fucker!” Because myself, Mrs. F, her grandson, and the rest of us leave in a shitty world that validates bullies and punishes those who speak out against bullies, Mrs. F’s grandson was reprimanded instead of the little mother-fucker. 

Now, my grasshoppers, is this the type of society you want your children and grandchildren to inherit… a society where they can be beaten physically and legally but not call the wrong-doer out as a mother-fucking wrong-doer?